The Birth of Sarah - The mummy's story

This is the first of two stories. The first is the mummy's and the second is the daddy's.
Sarah was born on 2nd November  at 09.15 at home.

Sarah is our second child.  Ferdinand (our first child) was born in hospital, on labour ward, after my
waters went at home (no contractions) and there was meconium.  He arrived safe and sound after 21 hours of labour.  It wasn’t the experience I was hoping for mainly because I didn’t feel listened to.

I don’t want to dwell on Ferdinand’s birth but the labour actually progressed very quickly, until I became very dehydrated, my contractions stopped and I ended up needing medication to get them started again.  Ferdinand was born by forceps and I didn’t have good quality skin to skin, despite him
being fine.  I went on to develop bad post natal depression (requiring treatment under the mother and baby unit) which I felt was contributed to by the poor experience I had in hospital and I was keen to have a different, more personal experience with my second child.

I lied during my pregnancy, mainly about 2 things, and I’m glad I did.  The first thing I lied about was the ‘due date’.  In my first pregnancy the scan dates had predicted a ‘due date’ 7 days later than
what I worked it out to be by my periods.  Ferdinand was born 2 days after the scan due date (and 9 days after ‘my’ calculated ‘due date).  I remembered people beginning to comment that the baby was ‘still in there’ and talk of inductions from the due date, so this time I told everyone the ‘due date’ was a week later than my notes said.  Consequently everyone (including my mother, and I think, by the end of the pregnancy, my husband) believed that I was having a Halloween baby.  I’m glad I did fib as I wasn’t bothered when I went past my ‘due date’ and other people didn’t start worrying until a week later.  Obviously the midwives  knew the true date but they also knew it was a secret and understood that I would not be interested in ‘getting things going’ before my body was ready.  As it happened Sarah turned up 9 days after my due date too, so I obviously just cook babies for 41 weeks and 2 days.

The second thing I lied about was that I was planning a home birth.  It was a lie of omission mainly but we decided it was no one else’s business and I personally didn’t want all the ‘oh, I wouldn’t want
to risk that’ etc etc etc nonsense.   Again, I’m very glad we didn’t tell people; we have thoroughly enjoyed sharing the news after the event and been surprised by how many people are positive about the idea.  Those that are less positive have been immediately silenced by the great experience we had.
Halloween came and went and on the 1st of November we got a baby sitter and went on a story telling walk round the local park.  It was a leisurely 1 hour stroll with professional story tellers telling ghost stories.  I joke that they scared the baby out of me but in truth I think the walk helped.  I also knew which midwives were on call and I was totally happy with the ones that were on over that weekend.

We went home at about 10pm and went to bed.  Dev (my husband) was sleeping in the spare room as I found it impossible to sleep without taking up the whole of our bed (rolling over was not elegant).

At about 1am I woke up.  I lay for a while and felt an intermittent burning sensation in my lower tummy.  I had the weird feeling that it had been going on for quite some time while I was asleep.  I was too excited to go back to sleep so I lay and read the entire BBC news website.  I couldn’t really time the contractions as they were too irregular.  About 6 in 20 minutes but I could get 2 in 2 minutes and then none for ages and the intensity was equally irregular.  Nothing really changed but I thought I’d ring and get the number for the midwife on call so I was ‘ready’.  I rang the birth centre and was told I had to speak to labour ward (I later found out that the birth centre was closed all weekend due to staff shortages).  I spoke to a midwife and explained what was going on.  She didn’t seem particularly interested and (I know this is awful) when I had a tightening in my tummy I consciously decided not to talk through it!  At that point she ended the conversation saying she would speak to the midwife on call, Bethany, and get her to ring me.  I felt awful as I genuinely didn’t feel I needed to disturb her, yet.  Bethany rang back and I apologised and explained that I didn’t really need her yet and I had just been trying to get the number in preparation.  Bethany still talked through things and the refreshing thing was that even though I hadn’t actually met Bethany she knew all about me (I had heard a lot about her and knew that she was the ‘hypnobirthing’ midwife).

She asked what I wanted to do.  I said I wanted to go and do some hypno and that I wasn’t sure if I
should wake Dev to fill the pool or not.  Bethany advised that I wake Dev and ring her back in an hour or so or whenever I felt I wanted to.

I woke Dev and he started getting the sitting room ready.  I went back to bed and listened to my hypno tracks.  I can honestly say I have never got into such a deep hypno state as I did then and it
was fabulous...... I think I’d still be there now if Bethany hadn’t rung back at about 5.30am.  She explained that she was up and dressed and I agreed that she could pop round and see me (so she knew nothing was going on and then she could go back to bed).  

Bethany arrived about 30 minutes later and came up to our bedroom.  She talked to us and agreed that things were starting but I was not in active labour.  She was also adamant that she thought I’d labour quickly when things did get going.  She said that she would like to write her notes in the kitchen and suggested that both Dev and I went back to bed for a sleep.  We did this but about 20 minutes later I kicked Dev out of bed and told him to go and tell Bethany that I would want the gas and air at some point but that I didn’t want it now (I’m dreadful at trying to get things organised in these situations!).  Bethany came back up to talk to be again and by the time she got up the stairs I wasn’t happy to sit still through a contraction.  They weren’t bad and I still didn’t think things were really happening but I needed to be on all fours for them.  It was lovely that Bethany was genuinely excited that things were progressing but I still thought it would be a while.  We agreed that Bethany could examine me (so that we knew I wasn’t in proper labour) and then could go home.  We discussed that I was anxious that my membranes not be broken during the examination.  She examined me at 7am and was very gentle.  She found I was 3cm but was even more sure that things would suddenly start.  She suggested that I lay down and did some more hypno.

At some point we’d texted Zoe, the friend that had agreed to take Ferdinand to her house, and she was getting herself sorted.  Dev had rung Emma (a doula) who was on her way over and Bethany had rung the second Midwife, Clare, and the day midwife (due to take over at 8), Irena.  At about 06.30 Ferdinand had woken up as usual and Dev had gone and got him dressed.  I was fairly oblivious to everything that thing were happening by this time and everyone was just doing what needed to be done.

At 7.10am I suddenly decided I wanted to go downstairs.   When I stood up I found that I had to wait until the contraction had passed before walking, although they still weren’t bad or painful, and I had to dash downstairs as I didn’t want to have one on the stairs.  By the time I got down stairs I was adamant I wanted to get in the pool immediately as things had suddenly become much more intense. Painful is the wrong word, I just needed to really focus.  Unfortunately, Dev had filled the pool with very hot water (thinking that it could just cool and would probably be exactly the right temperature by the time I wanted to get in!), consequently the midwives were taking buckets of water out of the pool and adding cold.....It was infuriating that it was too hot!  I knelt leaning on a table; then the gas and air arrived (and I started using it); Emma arrived (and I asked her to just PLEASE get the temperature in the pool cooler so I could get in); Clare arrived and Zoe walked in immediately after her, followed by Irena.  Zoe started getting Ferdinand’s stuff together and the pool got to the right temperature (it was a hectic few minutes).  I then told the midwives that I wanted to put my bikini bottoms on.  Bethany questioned this and asked if I meant bikini top.  I explained no, I meant bottoms and that I realised this was odd but to make it even odder I was going to the loo to put them on as I didn’t want anyone to see my ‘bits’.  The midwives laughed and asked if I knew what was going to happen but I was adamant.  I still don’t know why!

I went to the loo, put my bikini on and came back and got straight in the pool.  I promptly started crying very quietly.  I have no idea why, I wasn’t sad, I wasn’t happy, I wasn’t particularly relieved, and I was just crying and could do nothing about it.  I didn’t think anyone had noticed until Emma gave me a tissue and then as suddenly as it had started, I stopped crying.

Ferdinand came in to say goodbye (he’d decided he wanted to go to Zoe’s house rather than stay mainly because she had said he could watch Pepper Pig which we never have on!).  He asked if he could get in the pool with me but when we said no he decided he’d stick to his plan and go.  He gave
me a hug and a kiss and skipped off down the road with Zoe.

Then things all calmed down.  Dev had put the fairly lights in the sitting room and they were on.  My hypno music was playing, the curtains were drawn and it was lovely.  Dev was still doing jobs (like
getting people tea) which is one of his coping mechanisms and it was driving me potty as I just wanted him there with me, so I asked him to get in the pool with me which he did.  I think I spent most of the rest of the time with my arms round his neck, leaning on him with my head over his shoulder and the gas and air there.

Emma was regularly there between contractions with a drink and a straw and the midwives listened in to the baby between each contraction.  Clare dropped the Doppler in the pool at one point and it stopped working but they had a spare.  The pool was so big (because I had the larger one because I’m tall) that Clare couldn’t always reach me to hear the baby’s heart so I’d have to shuffle over to her. At one point it was just too much hassle so I took the probe off her and stuck it on my tummy myself so I didn’t have to move, by luck I got it in the right place!

Emma took loads of photos but we also had an old phone (with no sim card) set up on the mantel piece with a time lapse app which took a photo every minute.  You can’t see any of the ‘business end’ or much detail but it gives a lovely summary of the comings, goings and happenings (there’s even a lovely picture of Ferdinand saying goodbye to me).  No one took any notice of it which is lovely.

At one point the gas and air ran out but they had a spare cylinder and quickly changed it over and called for more (which arrived just after Sarah was born).

Bethany left at about 8 because she had to go and get some sleep as she was working another shift that afternoon but Clare asked if I wanted her to stay.  I said I didn’t mind and she kindly stayed on with Irena rather than call another midwife out.

At some point I realised that I could feel the baby moving down inside me and that my body was pushing her out.  There was nothing at all I could do about it, it was just happening but I remember thinking that no one knew it was happening; no one knew the baby was coming and that my body was pushing her out all by itself.  I actually thought ‘I know something you don’t know!’.  It made me feel so in control.  I felt powerful, beautiful (I’ve seen the photos.... I didn’t look it) and amazing.

Eventually it did become evident to everyone that I was pushing, I just needed to sort of growl I think.  I said to Dev to remind me not to push (because with hypnobirthing you don’t ‘push’, you
‘breathe the baby down’) as the urge was so strong I couldn’t help it.  I remember Irena not really understanding what I meant and saying ‘don’t be daft woman, push!’  At one point I felt a sort of pop (I actually thought some part of me had torn) but Irena told me it was my waters going (about 3 minutes before Sarah was born.).

Then there was the ring of fire!  I remember saying to Irena, ‘it’s crowning isn’t it?’ and Dev tells me Irena’s face was an absolute picture as she thought the baby wasn’t really crowning but didn’t want to disappoint/scare me.  She ended up saying ‘well, nearly, getting there’ or something.  A couple of contractions later I said she’s coming and again Irena said something like ‘we’re getting there’.  I
remember saying to Dev, ‘the baby will be here with the next one’.  I just couldn’t fight the urge to push. It was so strong there was nothing on this planet that was going to keep that baby in there.

Apparently (from what they could see on the mirror) she really went from not really crowning to being out in one push.

The contraction came and I leant back (off Dev) and at 9.15am she came up in front of me and I lifted her out of the water.  Dev was next to me.  It was totally mind blowing.  I was just amazed.

She was very purple (because of the speed).  There was a little bleeding and I think Irena was worried I may have torn badly because of the speed so asked me to get out (in the end I had a little 2nd degree tear that she  stitched in my bedroom with the gas and air after a shower).  I lay on the sofa and cuddled Sarah for a while, I tried to feed but she didn’t fancy it immediately.  Eventually I began to feel uncomfortable (just the wrong position) so Dev cut the cord and I passed the baby to Clare so I could stand up.  I knelt down by the sofa and Irena said she wanted to talk about options as the placenta hadn’t come and it had been almost an hour.  Before she could start talking I felt the urge to push again and the placenta was out.  Clare weighed and measured Sarah (4.4kg and 59cm!) and then gave her back.

We then had champagne and bacon butties made by Emma.  Then I went upstairs for a lovely hot shower (Irena stayed with me as I like it really hot!) and when I got out Dev was in our room, on the bed, with dimmed lights, and Sarah in his arms.  Irena then told me that there had been meconium in my waters (old, the same as when I had had Ferdinand) and that this meant protocol said I should go to hospital to be monitored.  She also said that she knew this was one of my fears and that she had been watching Sarah closely and was happy that she was fine.  We agreed that we would keep watching her and Irena would return that evening and in the morning to recheck Sarah’s observations (as from my experience with Ferdinand, this was more monitoring than he got!).

The pool was emptied down a drain outside the front door and when Dev popped out to show Emma where it was the neighbour (we live in a semi detached house) asked what we had had as she knew the baby was born at 9.15am.  She said she hadn’t heard me, but there was a cheer when the baby was born!

We spent the next few hours in bed getting to know Sarah and feeding her.  Everything was tidied away and people left without us really noticing.  It was lovely.

At about 4pm we rang Zoe to see how Ferdinand was (we had already let her know the baby had arrived but she had volunteered to keep him a bit longer.).  Ferdinand heard Sarah cry on the phone and asked if that was his little brother or sister.  When he was told yes, he apparently literally jumped for joy and couldn’t get his shoes on quick enough to come and meet her.   Dev went to get him and I popped Sarah in her Moses basket so I could greet him.  He came in, totally ignored me and went straight to stroke her head.  Then he asked, ‘are you a girl? Are you OK? Can you talk yet?’ It was a brilliant moment that I will cherish forever.

Sarah was checked the next day and was fine.  We are very much enjoying being a family of 4.  I can’t recommend homebirth enough.  I would do it again tomorrow and the only thing I’d change is that it was over a bit too quickly!!!

My wonder baby

It wasn't anywhere near as fast as it was expected to be after my previous experiences (4 hours for my first baby, also born at home, <1hr 15mins for my twins following induction by breaking my waters at hospital). 

I started getting contractions at about 9pm on Sunday 6/9/15; the on call home birth midwife, CG, got to me about 12:30am Monday 7/9/15; I got in the pool about 3am; pushing from about 4:15am (according to my notes - if I'm honest timings are a bit blurry!); & she was born into the water at 4:40am. I caught her & my husband cut the cord. 

As with my previous water birth, she didn't cry at all & was/is incredibly calm. She got 9/9 for APGAR. 

The labour was probably my easiest, but the birth was my hardest by far, at 8lb 3oz, she is my biggest baby by almost 1lb - I'm guessing that's why! Still managed it all with just the water for pain relief though, combined with skills learned at pregnancy yoga/natal hypnotherapy. 

After her birth, I really struggled for about 1.5 hours, & the midwife was considering transferring me to hospital, but thankfully I started to get it together. I needed stitches again, for a 2nd degree tear. 

We'd had no sleep though & I'd lost quite a bit of blood so was a bit weak & pathetic on Monday, however my wonder baby let me get 7+ hours sleep both nights since, so I've been like a different person since yesterday morning.

First time mum recommends home birth

Joseph was born on Sunday 3rd March at 3 pm weighing 8lb 4oz. He is absolutely beautiful! 

My contractions started at 5 on Friday night and were up to 6 minutes apart. We phoned the home birth team and Elaine and Jackie came out to see me. They assessed me but as I had not had a show, my waters had not broken and I was only 2 cm dilated we decided to wait a while. The ladies left me to get some rest and see if I could move things along. 

After a whole day of contractions which progressed to 5 minutes apart, Angela came out from the home birth team to reassess me. Unfortunately I was still only 3 cm dilated and not in active labour so I needed to wait as I did not want to be induced. 

As I was exhausted, Angela did some relaxation strategies with me and I fell asleep and managed to rest. At half 4 Angela and Marion came back to reassess me and things were starting to progress so we got the pool ready. The ladies were amazing and talked me through the whole process. They also made sure that my husband and mum were ok too. At 8 the shift changed and Fiona, Jackie and Emma arrived. They were wonderful! With a mix of Equinox and the pool, my labour progressed and I had a show. 

Fiona broke my waters and talked me through my labour. It was a team effort and we managed to push him out! It was amazing to see my baby come out into the water and I was able to slowly lift him up. He was so calm and peaceful looking around with beautiful blue eyes. 

Unfortunately I had a second degree tear so transferred to hospital to be stitched up. We came home 3 hours later. The next day Elaine and Helen came out to see me to check Joseph and help me with breast feeding as I was finding it very difficult.

I would recommend the home birth team to everyone and particularly first time mums! I was very nervous about giving birth but had a whole team of friendly and supportive midwives who were there for the whole weekend. Being at home was so lovely.

Born at home and avoided a hospital transfer

Marlee was born Thursday 26th March at 22:00 weighed 8lb 11 (due 25th March).

Thursday 26th March started as usual with me taking my daughter to nursery as normal in the morning. When I returned home I had some more breakfast as feeling very hungry I then decided to do the ironing, whilst ironing I was getting low backache and tightenings which seemed to be coming quite regularly so I decided to time them. I Found that they were lasting about 45 seconds and coming every 4 minutes, I was comfortable and able to continue what I was doing. This continued throughout the morning and when I went to the toilet I noticed some bloody discharge and realised my body was getting ready but thought it would be a while yet.

After some lunch I went to harborne as I had a reflexology appointment at 14:30, the backache and tightenings continued regularly throughout at a bearable level. The treatment was lovely and relaxing (don't know if it helped at all as stuff was already happening). I returned home around 16:00 and things remained at the same level (lasting 45 sec and every 4 mins) for the next couple of hours. My husband picked our daughter up from nursery and put her to bed at 18:30 as I didn't feel able to do the bedtime routine, I spent this time sitting on my birth ball doing circles, figure of eights and just generally rocking. Around this time the tightenings started to come every 2-3 mins with intensity increasing slightly. I continued to tidy up and spend time sitting on the birth ball. At 7pm I decided I should contact the midwives to let them know that I was in labour I spoke to Jo from the home birth team and let her know the contractions were around every 3 minutes or so, she let me know who was on call that night and it was Elaine (my named midwife) which was nice, she contacted Elaine as the shift change over is at 8pm and said to ring back if things changed. The contractions were still manageable and I was able to keep moving. After speaking to Jo my husband and I ate our dinner then I had a call from Elaine at 19:20 (just finished dinner) at which point things were starting to get a little more painful and were coming at times every 1 - 2 minutes always around 45 seconds long but a bit erratic. On hearing this Elaine said they would be coming round at 8. After eating my husband got on with organising our lounge to set up the birth pool, it's a small house so we were unable to have it set up before hand. Elaine rang again just before 8 to check how we were doing, everything was at that point has become more intense and I would have to stop what I was doing and lean over onto something and do some hip circles and deep breathing trying to remain relaxed, focusing on my breathing and the movement helped me to cope.

Elaine and Angela arrived just after 8pm, I had just been to the toilet, the pool was up but hadn't been filled yet, my husband started to fill the pool while the midwives set up their equipment. I then went upstairs with Elaine so she could listen to the baby's heartbeat and check position, I was offered a vaginal examination which I declined (Elaine supported and encouraged this decision). Whilst upstairs the contractions kept coming regularly and fairly strong and I would have to get Elaine to stop, whilst I coped with them by getting onto all fours doing hip circles and focusing on my breathing, when the contractions were over I felt good and we went back downstairs.

Once downstairs the intensity continued to increase and I remained in a kneeling position leaning on my birth ball and doing circles when a contraction came (they were now lasting about a minute). We were encouraged to do what felt right and to dim the lights and just be together. My husband gave me some sacral massage during this time as well, and at one point Elaine or Angela (not sure which as I was focused on my body) gave me a back massage. Just before 9pm I suddenly remembered my TENS machine but by this time the pool was about ready so there was no time to use it.

Just after 9pm I was able to get into the pool in between contractions, it instantly felt soothing and very comfortable, ( I had previously been concerned about what to wear in the pool but when it came to it I quickly stripped off and didn't care that I was naked with others around) I continued to be on my knees leaning on the side of the pool holding my husbands hand and circling, I had been in the pool only a short while (I think) when I decided I needed to use some of the gas and air (which had been delivered shortly after the midwives arrived). I was able to continue using the deep breathing and hypnobirthing relaxing techniques with the gas and air to breath through the contractions whilst listening to my relaxing music. Whilst in the pool Angela said to me that she could see a good purple line (I didn't know what that was at the time) which apparently can give an indication of how dilated you are. It wasn't too long, around 21:50, before I started to push using the gas and air and my breathing techniques, I was able to feel when babies head came out still in the membranes (continued to be on my knees leaning against the side of the pool). I remember Elaine talking to me and telling me to just breath, don't think I was able to follow her instructions as I remember her saying them whilst needing to push and not being able to not push with the intense pressure I felt, 10 minutes later our baby girl was born at 22:00 the membranes broke as she came out and Elaine had to wipe the membranes off of her face. She was then passed to me (we still didn't know it was a girl at that point) but she had the cord wrapped around her neck so there was a bit of manoeuvring to remove it, we then had skin to skin.

Whilst enjoying the cuddles and awaiting the placenta to be delivered I was asked to get out of the pool as the midwives had noticed that I was bleeding and wanted to examine me to find out where the blood was coming from, they found I had a 2nd degree tear. I was left with some pads for a short time awaiting delivery of the placenta then went into the bathroom to try and encourage the placenta to come away, but I wasn't having any contractions and was still bleeding quite badly so it was suggested that I have a the injection to help deliver the placenta, within a few minutes of having the injection the placenta came away. Over the next hour I was stitched up, using some gas and air, whilst my husband had skin to skin with the baby and her checks and assessments were performed.

All assessments went well apart from the oxygen saturation on baby's feet which weren't within the correct range, so they continued to check these and tried multiple times to obtain a good reading. Angela stayed trying to get a reading until about 03:00 (during this time I had a bath and got cleaned up) when she still didn't get the right reading she called the hospital and it was decided that we should go in to get baby checked on the hospital equipment, so an ambulance was called. When baby and I got onto the ambulance her oxygen levels were rechecked on their equipment and we finally had some good readings, so another call to the hospital was made and we were allowed to stay at home, which was great news and a huge relief. So we went back inside where my husband was emptying the pool (he couldn't come to the hospital as we didn't have anyone to stay with our eldest daughter who had slept through everything). Angela then finished her documentation and was finally able to leave around 04:00, I then went up to bed with baby while my husband finished putting the pool away.

Our eldest daughter then got up around 06:30 to find a new baby sister, which was a lovely way to introduce the new baby. Having a Homebirth was all that we hoped it would be and would recommend it to everyone. The breathing techniques and yoga positions learned in class were especially helpful, I would also recommend some hypnobirthing practice, I never seemed to get around to sitting down and concentrating on this properly but what little I did helped me to focus on breathing and relaxing. I have felt so much better, healed and recovered this second time around than I did with my first where my whole body ached afterwards, think I was quite tense and unable to relax the first time as we ended up in the delivery suite where it was very bright and uncomfortable.

Marlee is now 7 weeks old and everything is going well, she is a fairly calm baby and loves to have a bath, it often really settles her if she is getting a bit grumpy before bed.

With me every step of the way

Baby T 10/3/15 8lbs7 7oz...

I contacted the Home Birth Team at Birmingham  Women’s Hospital early on in my pregnancy and Jo came to complete my ‘booking forms’ so I didn’t even need to visit my grumpy GP! The dedicated team meant that all my antenatal appointments were done at home where I saw the same midwife, Jo who built an excellent loving and supportive bond with me and my family. This was extremely important to me and gave me confidence as I felt listened to and built such trust in her care.

I re-joined Paula’s Pregnancy Yoga class, as I had done with my first pregnancy from around 14 weeks and loved how in control of my body it made me feel during this huge time of change. The breathing exercises were so beneficial in the moments I got to relax before the birth and I always enjoyed her talks about the physical processes of birth taking much confidence from the knowledge.

This time around I was also delighted to stumble across The Calm Birth School (an online hypnobirthing course) as was keen to try hypnobirthing but couldn't see any way attending a course would be possible with a toddler at home.

Tuesday 10th was a very normal day, my daughter went to nursery and I felt a strong urge to be really active, a walk in the morning and a longer one in the afternoon - I had loads of energy. Around 3pm i started to have period 'Pains', easy going but niggling.

I had a slight loss of blood, not a mucus show but just a bit of staining which I hadn't had before. I went to have a bath before dinner as I didn't know what to do with myself but ended up getting out pretty quickly as just wasn't settled. We ate dinner together, but I stood up through out. I'd had so many 'false starts' that none of this was particularly out of the ordinary. Having finished my food I left the table and walked into a quieter room where my waters went with a water balloon like Pop! 630pm…

After my bath I had decided to put on a maternity pad, perhaps thinking to keep an eye on the slight blood staining I'd had earlier - I'm glad I did! I called through to T ' my waters have gone I can't move!' and he appeared with a video camera to catch the excitement!! Poppy found it all highly amusing and delighted in her job of fetching a towel. T carried on and put Poppy to bed and immediately my surges started to roll through me. I quickly realised if I gave them my full concentration then they were easier to understand.

I left a message with the midwives and began to time a few of the gaps between surges as knew it was one of the questions they would ask, I was just writing numbers down as didn't have the space in my mind to listen to anything but my surges as they rolled. T came downstairs and I pointed at the numbers " they're lasting a min" he said, "yes but what's the gap?" Followed by something like Shit best get the pool filled! As they were 2 mins apart. I instantly had to zone in, out came the earphones to listen to the Hypnobirth tracks and up went the intensity of the surges.

I found my spot in the kitchen stood up at the end of the breakfast bar. I could be upright or rest over cushions, hands able to grip the sides and give me stability. Instantly the sound of Suzy's voice brought me my centre "hello my names Suzy ashworth..." !! And while the track played away in the background I kept visualising one of my affirmations in particular 'my surges are not more powerful than me, THEY ARE ME'. I knew I was in at the deep end and things were moving quickly....

I started to sing a bit of a whale song saying 'come on, come on' im not a singer! But it felt so soothing and calming in between surges and like I was passing the reassurance on to the baby. Fiona the midwife arrived at 7.50pm just as I started to roar my way through a surge. I heard her make an immediate phone call to the second midwife who must attend as the baby is born, and told her to come immediately which made me feel really strong. Finally I could get in the pool which was a true oh my god! Moment….

The warm water changed the sensation enough to relax my body and mind as the waves of the surges rolled through me. My affirmation was my anchor, the surges are me not bigger than me and at this point T was there to fill in the gaps. He told me Relax Surrender it's time to let go...

His words made all the difference and with that Fiona started to explain that with the next surge I would feel a burning sensation and this would be babies head. I reached down to feel the tiny head of thick hair and with a final surge and a rotation from the baby she was out slowly into the water. I held her there as she gazed up at us arms out stretched and alert in a beautiful underwater limbo land between birth and womb.

As she came up into my arms she was so peaceful and calm, we needed reassurance that she was breathing as she didn't bother with the distinctive newborn cry, just made a few whimpers! Time stood still and I couldn't take my eyes of her... perfect x

Unfortunately I had torn and was brought out of the pool eagerly by the midwives so that they could assess what needed to happen but they did it so thoughtfully so as not to disturb skin to skin or bonding with dad too. They diagnosed a 3rd degree tear which meant I needed to be seen in hospital but they consulted me and talked me through every decision we were jointly making so that I felt in control and perfectly happy.

Transfer was easier by ambulance and the midwives were happy for me to continue with uninterrupted skin to skin, tucking her in to my dressing gown rather than taking her off me or getting her dressed. So although a nights stay and an operation saw a strange 2nd side to my beautiful blissful labour, every move was made with me in mind and kept us all calm & relaxed.

Thank you BWH Home Birth Team, The Calm Birth School and Pregnancy Yoga Birmingham! You were with me every step of the way. xx

Second baby born at home: the most incredible experience

Before I share my birth story I thought I’d just mention the experience I had with my first child, Arthur, who’s 3 ½ .

My waters broke – 10 days early – at around 9.00pm in Paula’s yoga class and I immediately had contractions every minute to two minutes. By 11pm I was 7-8cm dilated and we went to hospital. The midwives thought it would all be done and dusted within a few hours. But things slowed down – he was also back to back, which didn’t help. Arthur was eventually born after a 15-hour labour. I was prepped for a C-section (after ventouse didn’t work) but he was delivered with the assistance of Keillands forceps (BIG forceps). Despite the interventions, the whole experience was really positive. Excellent care from the Women’s Hospital. The worst bit was recovery (3rd degree tear and episiotomy).

This time round a friend who was training to be a midwife asked whether I had heard about the new home birth team. I had never even considered a home birth before. What I did know was that I did not want to be under the same community midwife, who had reduced me to tears twice in my previous pregnancy – she was abrupt and grumpy. So I thought about it, chatted to a friend who had had a home birth, read some stuff online, talked to my husband and decided to go for it. The end result was easily the most amazing and uplifting experience of my life.

While Arthur was 10 days early, this baby decided to make an appearance 9 days late. It turns out I had probably been in a latent phase of labour for a few days. On the Friday I had my fourth (!) sweep and was already 3-4cm dilated (they’re not comfortable, but fine – especially when you have them at home) and I went for an acupuncture session. On the Saturday I was VERY grumpy and emotional (not a great birthday for my husband, I think). I had had a lot of Braxton Hicks throughout the second half of this pregnancy, and by Sunday they were quite intense. I was sitting, rotating on my birth ball when the baby did a huge wriggle and twist and my waters went at 10.15pm. With a second ‘pop’ of waters my contractions started thick and fast – every couple of minutes. The tens machine proved to be excellent again until I got into the water. The midwives from the homebirth team arrived within 30 minutes and the race was on to send Arthur to stay with friends and to get the pool up and filled. Having gone upstairs to the bathroom, I managed to make it downstairs (just!) and the pool was set up just in the nick of time for me to get in. Can’t tell you how good the water was. Although the midwives had sent for the gas and air from the hospital (it gets sent over in a taxi) it didn’t arrive in time – turns out this was actually a good thing, as I felt far more in control and present without it. Hester I H was born in water, 2 hours and 10 minutes after my waters broke. Turns out that I was the first person to hold her, as Lauren (my midwife) didn’t actually touch her during the labour. She was born in the water and ‘swam’ up into my arms, where I was the first to see that she was a girl. She weighed a respectable 8llb 2oz. 

We stayed in the water for a while (with a welcome glass of champagne) and then the midwives helped me into the sitting room, where I was comfortably ensconced on the sofa and had the syntocin injection to deliver the placenta, and Lauren gave me local anaesthetic and stitched up my small 2nd degree tear – the gas and air had arrived by this stage, so I used this. Then we all sat around in the sitting room drinking tea and champagne, eating cake and admiring the baby. Afterwards, the midwives helped me upstairs to have a shower and then I went to bed. My midwife Lauren came back to visit me and did all of the post natal checks at home – we saw her most days for the first week. I can’t describe how amazing it was to have that continuity of care – from antenatal, to labour, to postnatal – all with the same fabulous midwife. 

Throughout my pregnancy I was aware that things might change and that I might need to go into hospital (and also if that needed to happen during labour, I’d be there within minutes) – that it worked out the way it did was just the most incredible experience. Richard, my husband, also said that the experience for him was markedly different to being in hospital – he felt much more empowered being in his own home. If you haven’t thought about a home birth, then do – particularly if it’s your second pregnancy and you know a bit more what to expect. The new home birth team are ALL totally brilliant and very lovely. I’m almost sorry that I won’t be doing it again.

Sandy’s leisurely arrival

My waters broke on the Sunday morning about 7am, and contractions started, so we called the midwives, and filled the Pool. Both of my first 2 labours were about 7 hours in total from first twinges to baby's arrival, so I was confident that by early afternoon, I'd have my baby. However, by mid morning my contractions were stopping. I tried Caulophyllum (homeopathic remedy), and Clary Sage (aromatherapy oil), but nothing happened. I know that once your waters have broken, if you haven't produced a baby within 72 hours (protocol at this time), they want to get you into hospital to induce you, so I was very aware the clock was ticking... The next day, my midwife asked me if she should book me in for the induction on Wednesday. I told her I didn't want to think about that option, as I was trying to think positive. I needed her to say "Don't worry. This often happens. I'm sure your contractions will start again really soon." I knew about the 72 hour rule, but would have been unwilling to be induced, so I think she knew there would be a battle if it came to it, but fortunately it wasn't necessary anyway. She was also worried that my bump had shrunk, and requested that we go into hospital for a scan to check everything was OK. My waters had gone - I would have thought that should've explained it. But anyway, we felt it would be irresponsible to ignore her concern, so off we trotted to spend the afternoon at hospital - the last place I wanted to be at this point! The scan was fine, apart from the radiographer said I was showing as 164 weeks pregnant! And then she input something incorrectly, so that when we went to have the results analyzed, we were told the baby was breech, which fortunately I also knew was wrong.

On the way home from the hospital, I went for some Acupuncture to try to kick start contractions again. The acupuncturist was confident she would be able to stimulate contractions, but wasn’t sure if they would continue once the treatment had finished. But in actuality, I didn’t have any contractions even while she was treating me! I was desperately trying to stay positive, but did wonder whether the labour would start again on it’s own.

So we bought a pineapple (supposed to help induce labour), had a curry, and settled down to watch TV, sitting on my Birth Ball. About 8.45pm contractions finally returned. Yippee! After a while I got my TENS machine on, and got focused on my breathing. But around midnight I felt the contractions were easing off again, so I thought the best thing would be to take the TENS off, and get some sleep (not knowing how long things may be off or on for). But after about 2 hours I woke up as the contractions were too strong to sleep through, so I got the TENS machine back on, and got back on the Ball. By 2.30am, we thought we should probably call the midwife, who arrived just after 3.00am. As soon as she arrived I told her I wanted to get into the Pool (on the phone, the midwives had told me to wait until they arrived before I got in), so she took some details, measured my bump, and took the TENS off, as I was running to dive in. I told them I thought I was pretty close, and they agreed. I didn't have any internal examinations as my waters had broken, and didn't want to risk infection in case the labour stopped again. Mind you, by this point it was definitely passed the point of no return, but I was really pleased that the midwives didn't feel the need to do an internal. Jonnie got in the Pool with me, and it didn't take very long after that. In fact Sandy was born only about half an hour after the midwives arrived. I'd had minor tears with my previous deliveries, so I asked the more experienced midwife if she would help me deliver without tearing, which she did, and I didn't tear at all. I was amazed! It made such a huge difference to my recovery. Alexander was born under the water at 3.40am on Tuesday 5th December. I brought him to the surface, and we stayed in the water while he got used to life 'out here'. It was magical. We had fairy lights on, and music playing. Sandy was so chilled out - no crying. In fact he was so relaxed, the midwives were concerned he wasn’t breathing very well, and suggested cutting the cord. I asked if they thought it was a good idea to cut off his established oxygen supply if they had concerns that he wasn’t breathing very well with his lungs, and they agreed to leave it. After a while, they were happy he was breathing well on his own, so I asked if we could have some privacy to spend, just the three of us getting to know each other. They left us to it for about an hour in the dim light, having skin-to-skin contact with Sandy, while they sat in another room doing their paperwork. It was fantastic!