The Birth of Sarah - The mummy's story

This is the first of two stories. The first is the mummy's and the second is the daddy's.
Sarah was born on 2nd November  at 09.15 at home.

Sarah is our second child.  Ferdinand (our first child) was born in hospital, on labour ward, after my
waters went at home (no contractions) and there was meconium.  He arrived safe and sound after 21 hours of labour.  It wasn’t the experience I was hoping for mainly because I didn’t feel listened to.

I don’t want to dwell on Ferdinand’s birth but the labour actually progressed very quickly, until I became very dehydrated, my contractions stopped and I ended up needing medication to get them started again.  Ferdinand was born by forceps and I didn’t have good quality skin to skin, despite him
being fine.  I went on to develop bad post natal depression (requiring treatment under the mother and baby unit) which I felt was contributed to by the poor experience I had in hospital and I was keen to have a different, more personal experience with my second child.

I lied during my pregnancy, mainly about 2 things, and I’m glad I did.  The first thing I lied about was the ‘due date’.  In my first pregnancy the scan dates had predicted a ‘due date’ 7 days later than
what I worked it out to be by my periods.  Ferdinand was born 2 days after the scan due date (and 9 days after ‘my’ calculated ‘due date).  I remembered people beginning to comment that the baby was ‘still in there’ and talk of inductions from the due date, so this time I told everyone the ‘due date’ was a week later than my notes said.  Consequently everyone (including my mother, and I think, by the end of the pregnancy, my husband) believed that I was having a Halloween baby.  I’m glad I did fib as I wasn’t bothered when I went past my ‘due date’ and other people didn’t start worrying until a week later.  Obviously the midwives  knew the true date but they also knew it was a secret and understood that I would not be interested in ‘getting things going’ before my body was ready.  As it happened Sarah turned up 9 days after my due date too, so I obviously just cook babies for 41 weeks and 2 days.

The second thing I lied about was that I was planning a home birth.  It was a lie of omission mainly but we decided it was no one else’s business and I personally didn’t want all the ‘oh, I wouldn’t want
to risk that’ etc etc etc nonsense.   Again, I’m very glad we didn’t tell people; we have thoroughly enjoyed sharing the news after the event and been surprised by how many people are positive about the idea.  Those that are less positive have been immediately silenced by the great experience we had.
Halloween came and went and on the 1st of November we got a baby sitter and went on a story telling walk round the local park.  It was a leisurely 1 hour stroll with professional story tellers telling ghost stories.  I joke that they scared the baby out of me but in truth I think the walk helped.  I also knew which midwives were on call and I was totally happy with the ones that were on over that weekend.

We went home at about 10pm and went to bed.  Dev (my husband) was sleeping in the spare room as I found it impossible to sleep without taking up the whole of our bed (rolling over was not elegant).

At about 1am I woke up.  I lay for a while and felt an intermittent burning sensation in my lower tummy.  I had the weird feeling that it had been going on for quite some time while I was asleep.  I was too excited to go back to sleep so I lay and read the entire BBC news website.  I couldn’t really time the contractions as they were too irregular.  About 6 in 20 minutes but I could get 2 in 2 minutes and then none for ages and the intensity was equally irregular.  Nothing really changed but I thought I’d ring and get the number for the midwife on call so I was ‘ready’.  I rang the birth centre and was told I had to speak to labour ward (I later found out that the birth centre was closed all weekend due to staff shortages).  I spoke to a midwife and explained what was going on.  She didn’t seem particularly interested and (I know this is awful) when I had a tightening in my tummy I consciously decided not to talk through it!  At that point she ended the conversation saying she would speak to the midwife on call, Bethany, and get her to ring me.  I felt awful as I genuinely didn’t feel I needed to disturb her, yet.  Bethany rang back and I apologised and explained that I didn’t really need her yet and I had just been trying to get the number in preparation.  Bethany still talked through things and the refreshing thing was that even though I hadn’t actually met Bethany she knew all about me (I had heard a lot about her and knew that she was the ‘hypnobirthing’ midwife).

She asked what I wanted to do.  I said I wanted to go and do some hypno and that I wasn’t sure if I
should wake Dev to fill the pool or not.  Bethany advised that I wake Dev and ring her back in an hour or so or whenever I felt I wanted to.

I woke Dev and he started getting the sitting room ready.  I went back to bed and listened to my hypno tracks.  I can honestly say I have never got into such a deep hypno state as I did then and it
was fabulous...... I think I’d still be there now if Bethany hadn’t rung back at about 5.30am.  She explained that she was up and dressed and I agreed that she could pop round and see me (so she knew nothing was going on and then she could go back to bed).  

Bethany arrived about 30 minutes later and came up to our bedroom.  She talked to us and agreed that things were starting but I was not in active labour.  She was also adamant that she thought I’d labour quickly when things did get going.  She said that she would like to write her notes in the kitchen and suggested that both Dev and I went back to bed for a sleep.  We did this but about 20 minutes later I kicked Dev out of bed and told him to go and tell Bethany that I would want the gas and air at some point but that I didn’t want it now (I’m dreadful at trying to get things organised in these situations!).  Bethany came back up to talk to be again and by the time she got up the stairs I wasn’t happy to sit still through a contraction.  They weren’t bad and I still didn’t think things were really happening but I needed to be on all fours for them.  It was lovely that Bethany was genuinely excited that things were progressing but I still thought it would be a while.  We agreed that Bethany could examine me (so that we knew I wasn’t in proper labour) and then could go home.  We discussed that I was anxious that my membranes not be broken during the examination.  She examined me at 7am and was very gentle.  She found I was 3cm but was even more sure that things would suddenly start.  She suggested that I lay down and did some more hypno.

At some point we’d texted Zoe, the friend that had agreed to take Ferdinand to her house, and she was getting herself sorted.  Dev had rung Emma (a doula) who was on her way over and Bethany had rung the second Midwife, Clare, and the day midwife (due to take over at 8), Irena.  At about 06.30 Ferdinand had woken up as usual and Dev had gone and got him dressed.  I was fairly oblivious to everything that thing were happening by this time and everyone was just doing what needed to be done.

At 7.10am I suddenly decided I wanted to go downstairs.   When I stood up I found that I had to wait until the contraction had passed before walking, although they still weren’t bad or painful, and I had to dash downstairs as I didn’t want to have one on the stairs.  By the time I got down stairs I was adamant I wanted to get in the pool immediately as things had suddenly become much more intense. Painful is the wrong word, I just needed to really focus.  Unfortunately, Dev had filled the pool with very hot water (thinking that it could just cool and would probably be exactly the right temperature by the time I wanted to get in!), consequently the midwives were taking buckets of water out of the pool and adding cold.....It was infuriating that it was too hot!  I knelt leaning on a table; then the gas and air arrived (and I started using it); Emma arrived (and I asked her to just PLEASE get the temperature in the pool cooler so I could get in); Clare arrived and Zoe walked in immediately after her, followed by Irena.  Zoe started getting Ferdinand’s stuff together and the pool got to the right temperature (it was a hectic few minutes).  I then told the midwives that I wanted to put my bikini bottoms on.  Bethany questioned this and asked if I meant bikini top.  I explained no, I meant bottoms and that I realised this was odd but to make it even odder I was going to the loo to put them on as I didn’t want anyone to see my ‘bits’.  The midwives laughed and asked if I knew what was going to happen but I was adamant.  I still don’t know why!

I went to the loo, put my bikini on and came back and got straight in the pool.  I promptly started crying very quietly.  I have no idea why, I wasn’t sad, I wasn’t happy, I wasn’t particularly relieved, and I was just crying and could do nothing about it.  I didn’t think anyone had noticed until Emma gave me a tissue and then as suddenly as it had started, I stopped crying.

Ferdinand came in to say goodbye (he’d decided he wanted to go to Zoe’s house rather than stay mainly because she had said he could watch Pepper Pig which we never have on!).  He asked if he could get in the pool with me but when we said no he decided he’d stick to his plan and go.  He gave
me a hug and a kiss and skipped off down the road with Zoe.

Then things all calmed down.  Dev had put the fairly lights in the sitting room and they were on.  My hypno music was playing, the curtains were drawn and it was lovely.  Dev was still doing jobs (like
getting people tea) which is one of his coping mechanisms and it was driving me potty as I just wanted him there with me, so I asked him to get in the pool with me which he did.  I think I spent most of the rest of the time with my arms round his neck, leaning on him with my head over his shoulder and the gas and air there.

Emma was regularly there between contractions with a drink and a straw and the midwives listened in to the baby between each contraction.  Clare dropped the Doppler in the pool at one point and it stopped working but they had a spare.  The pool was so big (because I had the larger one because I’m tall) that Clare couldn’t always reach me to hear the baby’s heart so I’d have to shuffle over to her. At one point it was just too much hassle so I took the probe off her and stuck it on my tummy myself so I didn’t have to move, by luck I got it in the right place!

Emma took loads of photos but we also had an old phone (with no sim card) set up on the mantel piece with a time lapse app which took a photo every minute.  You can’t see any of the ‘business end’ or much detail but it gives a lovely summary of the comings, goings and happenings (there’s even a lovely picture of Ferdinand saying goodbye to me).  No one took any notice of it which is lovely.

At one point the gas and air ran out but they had a spare cylinder and quickly changed it over and called for more (which arrived just after Sarah was born).

Bethany left at about 8 because she had to go and get some sleep as she was working another shift that afternoon but Clare asked if I wanted her to stay.  I said I didn’t mind and she kindly stayed on with Irena rather than call another midwife out.

At some point I realised that I could feel the baby moving down inside me and that my body was pushing her out.  There was nothing at all I could do about it, it was just happening but I remember thinking that no one knew it was happening; no one knew the baby was coming and that my body was pushing her out all by itself.  I actually thought ‘I know something you don’t know!’.  It made me feel so in control.  I felt powerful, beautiful (I’ve seen the photos.... I didn’t look it) and amazing.

Eventually it did become evident to everyone that I was pushing, I just needed to sort of growl I think.  I said to Dev to remind me not to push (because with hypnobirthing you don’t ‘push’, you
‘breathe the baby down’) as the urge was so strong I couldn’t help it.  I remember Irena not really understanding what I meant and saying ‘don’t be daft woman, push!’  At one point I felt a sort of pop (I actually thought some part of me had torn) but Irena told me it was my waters going (about 3 minutes before Sarah was born.).

Then there was the ring of fire!  I remember saying to Irena, ‘it’s crowning isn’t it?’ and Dev tells me Irena’s face was an absolute picture as she thought the baby wasn’t really crowning but didn’t want to disappoint/scare me.  She ended up saying ‘well, nearly, getting there’ or something.  A couple of contractions later I said she’s coming and again Irena said something like ‘we’re getting there’.  I
remember saying to Dev, ‘the baby will be here with the next one’.  I just couldn’t fight the urge to push. It was so strong there was nothing on this planet that was going to keep that baby in there.

Apparently (from what they could see on the mirror) she really went from not really crowning to being out in one push.

The contraction came and I leant back (off Dev) and at 9.15am she came up in front of me and I lifted her out of the water.  Dev was next to me.  It was totally mind blowing.  I was just amazed.

She was very purple (because of the speed).  There was a little bleeding and I think Irena was worried I may have torn badly because of the speed so asked me to get out (in the end I had a little 2nd degree tear that she  stitched in my bedroom with the gas and air after a shower).  I lay on the sofa and cuddled Sarah for a while, I tried to feed but she didn’t fancy it immediately.  Eventually I began to feel uncomfortable (just the wrong position) so Dev cut the cord and I passed the baby to Clare so I could stand up.  I knelt down by the sofa and Irena said she wanted to talk about options as the placenta hadn’t come and it had been almost an hour.  Before she could start talking I felt the urge to push again and the placenta was out.  Clare weighed and measured Sarah (4.4kg and 59cm!) and then gave her back.

We then had champagne and bacon butties made by Emma.  Then I went upstairs for a lovely hot shower (Irena stayed with me as I like it really hot!) and when I got out Dev was in our room, on the bed, with dimmed lights, and Sarah in his arms.  Irena then told me that there had been meconium in my waters (old, the same as when I had had Ferdinand) and that this meant protocol said I should go to hospital to be monitored.  She also said that she knew this was one of my fears and that she had been watching Sarah closely and was happy that she was fine.  We agreed that we would keep watching her and Irena would return that evening and in the morning to recheck Sarah’s observations (as from my experience with Ferdinand, this was more monitoring than he got!).

The pool was emptied down a drain outside the front door and when Dev popped out to show Emma where it was the neighbour (we live in a semi detached house) asked what we had had as she knew the baby was born at 9.15am.  She said she hadn’t heard me, but there was a cheer when the baby was born!

We spent the next few hours in bed getting to know Sarah and feeding her.  Everything was tidied away and people left without us really noticing.  It was lovely.

At about 4pm we rang Zoe to see how Ferdinand was (we had already let her know the baby had arrived but she had volunteered to keep him a bit longer.).  Ferdinand heard Sarah cry on the phone and asked if that was his little brother or sister.  When he was told yes, he apparently literally jumped for joy and couldn’t get his shoes on quick enough to come and meet her.   Dev went to get him and I popped Sarah in her Moses basket so I could greet him.  He came in, totally ignored me and went straight to stroke her head.  Then he asked, ‘are you a girl? Are you OK? Can you talk yet?’ It was a brilliant moment that I will cherish forever.

Sarah was checked the next day and was fine.  We are very much enjoying being a family of 4.  I can’t recommend homebirth enough.  I would do it again tomorrow and the only thing I’d change is that it was over a bit too quickly!!!

Born at home and avoided a hospital transfer

Marlee was born Thursday 26th March at 22:00 weighed 8lb 11 (due 25th March).

Thursday 26th March started as usual with me taking my daughter to nursery as normal in the morning. When I returned home I had some more breakfast as feeling very hungry I then decided to do the ironing, whilst ironing I was getting low backache and tightenings which seemed to be coming quite regularly so I decided to time them. I Found that they were lasting about 45 seconds and coming every 4 minutes, I was comfortable and able to continue what I was doing. This continued throughout the morning and when I went to the toilet I noticed some bloody discharge and realised my body was getting ready but thought it would be a while yet.

After some lunch I went to harborne as I had a reflexology appointment at 14:30, the backache and tightenings continued regularly throughout at a bearable level. The treatment was lovely and relaxing (don't know if it helped at all as stuff was already happening). I returned home around 16:00 and things remained at the same level (lasting 45 sec and every 4 mins) for the next couple of hours. My husband picked our daughter up from nursery and put her to bed at 18:30 as I didn't feel able to do the bedtime routine, I spent this time sitting on my birth ball doing circles, figure of eights and just generally rocking. Around this time the tightenings started to come every 2-3 mins with intensity increasing slightly. I continued to tidy up and spend time sitting on the birth ball. At 7pm I decided I should contact the midwives to let them know that I was in labour I spoke to Jo from the home birth team and let her know the contractions were around every 3 minutes or so, she let me know who was on call that night and it was Elaine (my named midwife) which was nice, she contacted Elaine as the shift change over is at 8pm and said to ring back if things changed. The contractions were still manageable and I was able to keep moving. After speaking to Jo my husband and I ate our dinner then I had a call from Elaine at 19:20 (just finished dinner) at which point things were starting to get a little more painful and were coming at times every 1 - 2 minutes always around 45 seconds long but a bit erratic. On hearing this Elaine said they would be coming round at 8. After eating my husband got on with organising our lounge to set up the birth pool, it's a small house so we were unable to have it set up before hand. Elaine rang again just before 8 to check how we were doing, everything was at that point has become more intense and I would have to stop what I was doing and lean over onto something and do some hip circles and deep breathing trying to remain relaxed, focusing on my breathing and the movement helped me to cope.

Elaine and Angela arrived just after 8pm, I had just been to the toilet, the pool was up but hadn't been filled yet, my husband started to fill the pool while the midwives set up their equipment. I then went upstairs with Elaine so she could listen to the baby's heartbeat and check position, I was offered a vaginal examination which I declined (Elaine supported and encouraged this decision). Whilst upstairs the contractions kept coming regularly and fairly strong and I would have to get Elaine to stop, whilst I coped with them by getting onto all fours doing hip circles and focusing on my breathing, when the contractions were over I felt good and we went back downstairs.

Once downstairs the intensity continued to increase and I remained in a kneeling position leaning on my birth ball and doing circles when a contraction came (they were now lasting about a minute). We were encouraged to do what felt right and to dim the lights and just be together. My husband gave me some sacral massage during this time as well, and at one point Elaine or Angela (not sure which as I was focused on my body) gave me a back massage. Just before 9pm I suddenly remembered my TENS machine but by this time the pool was about ready so there was no time to use it.

Just after 9pm I was able to get into the pool in between contractions, it instantly felt soothing and very comfortable, ( I had previously been concerned about what to wear in the pool but when it came to it I quickly stripped off and didn't care that I was naked with others around) I continued to be on my knees leaning on the side of the pool holding my husbands hand and circling, I had been in the pool only a short while (I think) when I decided I needed to use some of the gas and air (which had been delivered shortly after the midwives arrived). I was able to continue using the deep breathing and hypnobirthing relaxing techniques with the gas and air to breath through the contractions whilst listening to my relaxing music. Whilst in the pool Angela said to me that she could see a good purple line (I didn't know what that was at the time) which apparently can give an indication of how dilated you are. It wasn't too long, around 21:50, before I started to push using the gas and air and my breathing techniques, I was able to feel when babies head came out still in the membranes (continued to be on my knees leaning against the side of the pool). I remember Elaine talking to me and telling me to just breath, don't think I was able to follow her instructions as I remember her saying them whilst needing to push and not being able to not push with the intense pressure I felt, 10 minutes later our baby girl was born at 22:00 the membranes broke as she came out and Elaine had to wipe the membranes off of her face. She was then passed to me (we still didn't know it was a girl at that point) but she had the cord wrapped around her neck so there was a bit of manoeuvring to remove it, we then had skin to skin.

Whilst enjoying the cuddles and awaiting the placenta to be delivered I was asked to get out of the pool as the midwives had noticed that I was bleeding and wanted to examine me to find out where the blood was coming from, they found I had a 2nd degree tear. I was left with some pads for a short time awaiting delivery of the placenta then went into the bathroom to try and encourage the placenta to come away, but I wasn't having any contractions and was still bleeding quite badly so it was suggested that I have a the injection to help deliver the placenta, within a few minutes of having the injection the placenta came away. Over the next hour I was stitched up, using some gas and air, whilst my husband had skin to skin with the baby and her checks and assessments were performed.

All assessments went well apart from the oxygen saturation on baby's feet which weren't within the correct range, so they continued to check these and tried multiple times to obtain a good reading. Angela stayed trying to get a reading until about 03:00 (during this time I had a bath and got cleaned up) when she still didn't get the right reading she called the hospital and it was decided that we should go in to get baby checked on the hospital equipment, so an ambulance was called. When baby and I got onto the ambulance her oxygen levels were rechecked on their equipment and we finally had some good readings, so another call to the hospital was made and we were allowed to stay at home, which was great news and a huge relief. So we went back inside where my husband was emptying the pool (he couldn't come to the hospital as we didn't have anyone to stay with our eldest daughter who had slept through everything). Angela then finished her documentation and was finally able to leave around 04:00, I then went up to bed with baby while my husband finished putting the pool away.

Our eldest daughter then got up around 06:30 to find a new baby sister, which was a lovely way to introduce the new baby. Having a Homebirth was all that we hoped it would be and would recommend it to everyone. The breathing techniques and yoga positions learned in class were especially helpful, I would also recommend some hypnobirthing practice, I never seemed to get around to sitting down and concentrating on this properly but what little I did helped me to focus on breathing and relaxing. I have felt so much better, healed and recovered this second time around than I did with my first where my whole body ached afterwards, think I was quite tense and unable to relax the first time as we ended up in the delivery suite where it was very bright and uncomfortable.

Marlee is now 7 weeks old and everything is going well, she is a fairly calm baby and loves to have a bath, it often really settles her if she is getting a bit grumpy before bed.