First of all, I should say that our first childbirth experience was, in general, very good. The staff in the birthing suite were excellent and it was as stress-free an environment as a hospital can get. Having said that, I spent the early hours of my wife’s labour on a very uncomfortable mat trying to get a little sleep and, at the end of the day, we were in a hospital. That birth itself, was mostly trouble free. Perhaps unsurprisingly the problems only started after M was born. We were released from the hospital on the day of the birth – mother and baby both doing fine – but without a Doctor release as there was no-one available to sign us off. We were advised to return to the maternity ward the following day for the clinical checks.
Given that M was by that time 24 hours old, he was showing slight signs of jaundice (birth bruising, more likely) and was admitted to hospital. This was a truly horrible experience – our first child, brand new, was put in an incubator for 3 days when it was plainly obvious that what he needed was his parents.
So, birth good, post-birth care horrible. By the time our second child was due, we were living in a fairly rural part of Cornwall. In all honesty, this made our decision to have a home birth much easier (that, as well as living next door to a midwife!). The choices were that, Truro hospital, a good half hour’s drive away or a birthing centre in Helston – also half an hour away.
Given the geography of Cornwall, the medical system there was much better set up to support home births and it quickly became our preferred choice. And, looking back, it was absolutely the right thing to do.
I didn’t even realise it at the time, but simply being at home – being able to rest in our own bed, use our own kitchen – feeling in charge and in control – removed so much of the stress of our first birth. And this, I am sure, made N’s labour much easier as well.
Given that M was by that time 24 hours old, he was showing slight signs of jaundice (birth bruising, more likely) and was admitted to hospital. This was a truly horrible experience – our first child, brand new, was put in an incubator for 3 days when it was plainly obvious that what he needed was his parents.
So, birth good, post-birth care horrible. By the time our second child was due, we were living in a fairly rural part of Cornwall. In all honesty, this made our decision to have a home birth much easier (that, as well as living next door to a midwife!). The choices were that, Truro hospital, a good half hour’s drive away or a birthing centre in Helston – also half an hour away.
Given the geography of Cornwall, the medical system there was much better set up to support home births and it quickly became our preferred choice. And, looking back, it was absolutely the right thing to do.
I didn’t even realise it at the time, but simply being at home – being able to rest in our own bed, use our own kitchen – feeling in charge and in control – removed so much of the stress of our first birth. And this, I am sure, made N’s labour much easier as well.
When we phoned the hospital to advise them that N was going into labour, they sent a midwife out straight away, and a second arrived just as G was being born. Again, the midwife team was superb and the altered dynamic of us being in our own home made it feel like they were there to help and support us rather than boss us around.
A final point on our second child birth experience – I know that for N, being able to have a bath in her own bathroom straight after Gabriel arrived helped her to relax immensely and, once again, kept stress levels to a minimum. Also, going nowhere near a hospital environment meant that there was no likelihood of Gabriel ending up in hospital unnecessarily.
So, when we were expecting our third child, we had already decided that it would be another homebirth. Surprisingly, N was advised against that throughout her pregnancy – not on any medical grounds, but being much more savvy by now, we knew that our decision would be final.
Without going into all of the details of the third childbirth, the overall experience was very similar to our second. Relaxed, stress-free, we were in charge and the support from the midwives was excellent.
E was born on a very snowy night in the middle of January, and that was the only concern we had, really, that the midwife team wouldn’t be able to get to us – not that I was planning on driving anywhere in those conditions (we had even re-done the pre-natal classes as a refresher so I’d feel confident delivering the baby myself!).
Two things really stand out for me with regard to E’s birth. Firstly the utter shock and overwhelming joy at having a baby daughter and secondly, being able to wake the boys the following morning and introduce them to their new baby sister, in our own home, just the five of us. It was a truly special moment.
Overall, given my experience of having three children, all of whom are healthy and with mercifully no birth complications, I would whole-heartedly recommend and support giving birth at home. As a man, you don’t feel like a spare part, like you’re getting in the way and you can watch your own TV and make your own coffee while waiting for the “business end” of proceedings. Not dissimilar, I guess, to the way that women feel about giving birth at home.
A phrase I have heard at the home birth support group which really rings true for me is that hospitals are for sick people, so why go there if you’re not sick?
We didn’t bother with birthing pools or any other paraphernalia, our two youngest children were simply born in bedrooms at home in warm, cosy environments and never needed to visit hospitals where, let’s face it, they are more likely to pick up bugs and get ill!
The midwives who helped us to deliver G and E seemed to really get the best way to help a woman giving birth at home, taking more of a back seat, and were all lovely women to have met –
again, something that gets lost somewhat in a medical environment, I think.
I would recommend home births to any father-to-be and (not that we plan on having any more children!) would only go to hospital for child birth if it was ever entirely necessary.
A final point on our second child birth experience – I know that for N, being able to have a bath in her own bathroom straight after Gabriel arrived helped her to relax immensely and, once again, kept stress levels to a minimum. Also, going nowhere near a hospital environment meant that there was no likelihood of Gabriel ending up in hospital unnecessarily.
So, when we were expecting our third child, we had already decided that it would be another homebirth. Surprisingly, N was advised against that throughout her pregnancy – not on any medical grounds, but being much more savvy by now, we knew that our decision would be final.
Without going into all of the details of the third childbirth, the overall experience was very similar to our second. Relaxed, stress-free, we were in charge and the support from the midwives was excellent.
E was born on a very snowy night in the middle of January, and that was the only concern we had, really, that the midwife team wouldn’t be able to get to us – not that I was planning on driving anywhere in those conditions (we had even re-done the pre-natal classes as a refresher so I’d feel confident delivering the baby myself!).
Two things really stand out for me with regard to E’s birth. Firstly the utter shock and overwhelming joy at having a baby daughter and secondly, being able to wake the boys the following morning and introduce them to their new baby sister, in our own home, just the five of us. It was a truly special moment.
Overall, given my experience of having three children, all of whom are healthy and with mercifully no birth complications, I would whole-heartedly recommend and support giving birth at home. As a man, you don’t feel like a spare part, like you’re getting in the way and you can watch your own TV and make your own coffee while waiting for the “business end” of proceedings. Not dissimilar, I guess, to the way that women feel about giving birth at home.
A phrase I have heard at the home birth support group which really rings true for me is that hospitals are for sick people, so why go there if you’re not sick?
We didn’t bother with birthing pools or any other paraphernalia, our two youngest children were simply born in bedrooms at home in warm, cosy environments and never needed to visit hospitals where, let’s face it, they are more likely to pick up bugs and get ill!
The midwives who helped us to deliver G and E seemed to really get the best way to help a woman giving birth at home, taking more of a back seat, and were all lovely women to have met –
again, something that gets lost somewhat in a medical environment, I think.
I would recommend home births to any father-to-be and (not that we plan on having any more children!) would only go to hospital for child birth if it was ever entirely necessary.
No comments:
Post a Comment